I always wondered what it is about people who find the love of their lives. The people who can fall in love, deeply, and without any hesitation and just accept it. I dreamt of that my whole life. Not the movie theater type love, where a princess finds her prince and they lived happily ever after. In some deep-twisted way, I always dreamt of meeting someone who was just as broken as i am. Because maybe in all the dark and twisted things in my life, my love wont judge me.
Not everyone is lucky enough to live a life without a mental illness. Could it be todays society where the media feeds us depression, and we eat it from a metal spoon? Or is it solely based on if our parents fuck up our childhoods. But we cant blame them, right? I always think back to my childhood traumas, but when it comes down to it, would I have been any better to my children?Our parents are growing with us, and we are a byproduct of their mistakes. But with my 3 am thoughts, that accompany my insomnia- you are taught love at home, and with that, there is no arguing.
it is three am and I woke up to your arms wrapped around me. I felt comfort, because in that moment I felt you. I feel you when you look into my eyes, when you make me laugh, and when I get so nervous around you that my heart beats a little faster. I dont know that if we ever got together, that we would be the right match, but I hate when the sun comes out because I know you are leaving, and it will be a while until ill be able to feel you again.
I hate the feeling of temporary. Where I meet you, and you love me, and you show me every part of your world. To which you take my hand and we begin to dance in the sight of the stars, and we have no idea where we are, and how we continue to get lost over and over again, without ever reaching our intended destination. But we never needed a location, we just loved the company of each other.
And then you get bored of me. And slowly, you become a stranger, just like everyone else.
I wish you stayed-my insomnia
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