when the stars are out and you put your headphones on, what do you think about?
Are you able to escape your reality just for a second, or do you feel as if the world is collapsing, and you are the cause of it?
And why is it that when you go home at the end of a beautiful day, you lay still on your bed and cry for hours, just to wake up and start the day all over again?
And you tell yourself: this day is too much for me, and you feel as if no one truly knows you.
Perspective is about understanding that the days when we fall apart, the days when sadness takes over, and our body feels the weight of a million stones- is the reason we can truly feel happiness.
Today is too much for me. All I want to do is crawl into my bed and not see or talk to anyone. I want to forget my existence today; I want to run away. I sometimes think about creating a new identity- where I move to another foreign place that I have no knowledge of and become a stranger all over again. To forget every bad thing that happened to me, and to fall asleep peacefully when the stars come out.
To evolve is constantly meeting yourself over and over again- it is a loop that no one will ever be able to get out of, and the faster you realize this- that you cannot fight the change, the weight of the world will no longer be on your shoulders.
Today I woke up with tears in my eyes, and all I wanted to do was write.
You don’t need to escape your pain- because it will stay exactly where it is until you decide to let it out.
No matter how much you try to run away, it will be waiting for you in the softness of your pillow, in the hot showers you so desperately crave, and the silence when the room becomes quiet. You are attached to your heart- and you are the only person who can sooth it.
So, How did I learn to not run away from my pain (even when I really want to).
I let it out- because we have no choice but to feel it all.
I walk around with my heart completely open
as if I have a big open scar with light shining out of it.
And do you know the beautiful thing about healing? You’re the only one who truly knows what you need to heal from. But when you start facing your pain and your scars are exposed, the world feels it—and that’s when you begin to attract good things.
I may not be the most perfect girl in the world. And my journey with my mental health is a work in progress. But when I opened my heart to the world, the good, the bad, it let me in. The world was never against you, you just needed to learn to live alongside it- and to stop fighting change.
And maybe then, you’ll take your headphones off, feel the quiet rhythm of your heart beating—and for once, not be afraid of it.
perspectiveblog.com 