Tag: sleep

Hi perspective. Its been a while. How have you been?

I have been distant from my writing for a while. I sat hours in front of my computer just to erase words that felt ‘used’ or ‘mundane’, but in reality, I just needed an early night.

Finishing the army was like breathing again for the first time in two years, but the light has vanished and the uniform is still imprinted on my body. flashbacks. I still look for you that night, and I still wake up to the sounds of your cries, and each time I try to comfort you but you slip away from my hands over and over again.

Or maybe I just need an early night.

It’s so easy to lose ourselves. We chase change, believing it’s what we need, even when we’re already enough just as we are. But that chase becomes addictive — a quiet drug that keeps us moving, searching. And then one day, you notice your bed feels empty, the lamp looks strange, and suddenly, you realize you’ve lost more of yourself than you ever intended to give away.

Maybe I am not built for an early night.

I woke up from the sirens in my dreams, and your hand that I was unable to hold. I woke up from the gun that was raised in the air, and my heart that couldn’t keep up, and I am in search for you everywhere.

You looked me in the eyes and you told me that you could never trust me.

I was holding the whole world for you and you had no idea.

You can be in so much pain. You can hurt — deeply. But pain has a way of distorting your lens, warping your view of the people around you. It reshapes them into things they’re not, casting shadows where there were none. And sometimes, it’s not them changing — it’s the glasses you’re wearing.

***********

I want an early night with you.

Not the kind filled with noises and distractions-

Just us.

I want the warmth in my bed to come back to

a warmth not just from the feel of your body but from your soul,

and how the world and all its problems gets smaller.

And the stillness of your hands around my body, a peace for my insomnia.

but perspective: maybe we all need an early night.